Welcome to Nourishing Roots: The Root of it All

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Hello there! Welcome to my "Family Tree" blog, where I will share posts related to my personal journey - my struggles, successes, and stories that I hope will inspire you and show you that we are in this journey towards health together.

Today's post is specifically focused on my personal health past. It is important to me that you know that I, too, have struggled. I have lost hope of finding health and wellness. I have battled illness and dis-ease. Been told by doctors and family members that it is "all in my head" and that it will pass on its own. Suffered in silence. Feared the unknown.

My journey has lasted a lifetime. There have been many hills and valleys, and through it all I have learned that faith and health are integrally related. And I am not through yet. I still suffer from an autoimmune disease that God has not yet fully healed. However, He has provided me with more training and wisdom, which is why Nourishing Roots exists. I want to pass on that training and wisdom to you, so that you can find hope, health, and happiness.

Please, take some time and join me as I explore the roots of my health struggle, the path it has propelled me onto, and the God that has seen me through it all.

It's All in My Head

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5).

I remember having stomach aches every single night for an entire year as a young child (sometime before sixth grade). I had a bunkbed in my room and slept in the top bunk. I struggled to fall asleep at night and, on good nights, I would lie in bed making shadow puppets on the wall. On bad nights, my stomach hurt. Instead of creating shadows, I would close my eyes and imagine I was flying above the playground at school, vomiting presents onto the blacktop and grassy area as an attempt to rid myself of the discomfort in my stomach.

I do not recall many details about this time in my life. I do remember being told that whatever was happening was all in my head and I just needed to stop worrying about it. I remember the pains lasting for about a year. I remember a recurring nightmare around the same time that my family and I were on vacation, driving up the side of a mountain and our car fell off the side of the mountain and into the waters far below. Most of all, I remember feeling scared, helpless, and alone.

Signs of Imbalance

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

Every adolescent struggles with stress, anxiety, and hormone imbalance. It is a part of what it means to go through puberty while facing social pressures and the increasing demands of school and extracurricular activities. However, in American society, it seems we have come to accept clear signs of imbalance as the norm, so much that we completely overlook them as the warning lights God intended them to be when He created us. Though I do believe that when I was an adolescent much of the science we know today was unavailable.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had my first period. I remember it vividly. I had just joined the cross country team and we were at a summer run at a coach's cottage on Lake Erie. We had finished running and were changing into our bathing suits when I saw the dreaded telltale spotting of my first menses. Naturally, I was unprepared as there had been no warning signs this was about to happen, but a kind teammate gave me the largest tampon I had ever seen and I proceeded to - well - you know. It was an uncomfortable day, but I made it through. After the cycle had run its course, I felt more prepared for when it came again. Except, it did not come. There was no period the following month. Or the month after that. Or the next month. In fact, I did not have another period for an entire year. After my next period, it was about sixth months until my third. Then months again until my fourth. In fact, until the last three months (the beginning of 2022), I have never had a period two months in a row. Even when I was on birth control in my twenties, I went years without periods.

Now, I know any women reading this are thinking - what on earth are you complaining about?! I realize it seems like I hit the menstruation lottery. Let's be real - nobody likes it when Aunt Flo visits, and we all wish we could never have another period again. But it's not healthy. Having a monthly period is one indication of proper hormone balance. Not having a monthly period can be a potential indication that a system may need further attention.

Another common issue in adolescence is acne. I had very large, widespread, cystic acne on my face that lasted from my teenage years through my mid-twenties. In college, they touted birth control as a way to help control my breakouts, but it did not work (I am not even broaching my concerns with birth control in this article). Though my breakouts were not as severe as I aged closer to thirty, they were still very present - until - I quit dairy. Since then, I have at most had 1-2 pimples on my face at a time and only if I was about to start my period or decided to consume dairy again. Acne is literally inflammation and can be another sign of imbalance, food sensitivities, or something else occurring in the body.

As I grew older, I began to grow dependent upon having snacks with me all of the time. My ex-husband's family enjoyed visiting new places, and we would go on adventures that would take us out from morning until late afternoon before we ate. While nobody else ever seemed affected by this, if I did not have a snack on me at all times, I would eventually feel sick, shaky, and/or dizzy. It took me a long time to realize I was likely suffering from hypoglycemia and my body truly needed to eat because my blood sugar balancing was nonexistent; my body simply did not know how to use its stored energy to stay functional. All I knew was I always felt sick and everyone around me always felt annoyed when I complained about my symptoms.

Terrible Anxiety

I was not officially diagnosed with anxiety or offered medicine to help temper it until I was an adult, but the same signs and symptoms were present when I was younger. I have always been a "Type A" personality and afraid of disappointing or not being perfect. I believe this personality type contributed to making me nervous and afraid of everything. (I am developing theories of the root of this problem, but for now, it is enough that this was my normal.)

Before any kind of competition, I had severe gastrointestinal distress. I would have to go to the bathroom, four, five, six times. I would often feel sick, though I never actually vomited. My heart raced, my hands shook, and I was terrified. In high school, the coaches quickly learned not to put me in the starting lineup for basketball because I was so nervous I could not perform. Before cross country meets and track events, I would spend as much prep time in the bathroom as possible. When singing in public, my voice shook too severely to be able to perform a solo well.

My first year of college, I ran cross country. We had camp the week before classes started, and I lost five pounds (off of an already small frame), not from the conditioning, but because I was too nervous to eat anything each day other than a peanut butter sandwich and cereal. I literally lived 30 minutes from home and was so nervous about being out on my own that I had panic attacks and had to force myself to eat until I became acclimated to my new environment.

As an adult, living on my own about 800 miles away from where I grew up, I began having panic attacks. I would feel my throat closing in, my heart beating irregularly, my palms shaking, and begin thinking I was going to die. I would lay as still as possible in bed or on the couch with my phone beside me, debating if I should - or when I should - call 911. When my ex-husband worked second shift, I would fear I had been bitten by a brown recluse or black widow and feel, once again, like I was going to die. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to call the neighbors, my family, or the paramedics because a small part of me was sure it was all imaginary and I would be all right.

Similar feelings occur when I have to drive long distances or on busy interstates. One time driving back to Ohio from South Carolina, I stopped in Kentucky at a Wendys. I was hungry but too nervous and sick-feeling to eat. I thought I was going to pass out and I would not be able to make it home. I scanned the restaurant, looking for someone that I could approach and ask if I could spend the night on their couch. I knew I could find a hotel, but the thought of being so far away all alone was too much for me to bear. I had literally settled on an elderly couple when I convinced myself to get back in the car and ride it out. As soon as I arrived at my dad's, I was perfectly fine. But the entire trip there was a continuous prayer to God that I would be able to take deep enough breaths to continue functioning, as my chest felt so tight and my breaths so shallow, I could not be certain air was actually travelling through my body.

Finally - A Diagnosis

Between high school and college, I was suffering from enough fatigue and anxiety symptoms that my general practitioner determined I might have a thyroid problem. Tests over the course of multiple months indicated I might have a thyroid condition, but the main indicator, thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH), kept moving in and out of the acceptable range. Evidently, my doctor was not well versed enough to realize this might be an sign I was suffering from an autoimmune disease.

I was not diagnosed with the autoimmune condition Hashimotos Thyroiditis until I was in my mid to late twenties. As a short summary, an autoimmune disease is when the body attacks itself. My body had spent over a decade attacking my thyroid gland, literally eating at it (one doctor described my thyroid as Swiss cheese). Because the thyroid does not regenerate, I was put on a synthetic thyroid hormone replacement and told I would take it the rest of my life until my thyroid was completely dead.

In case you did not realize, the thyroid is an essential organ to the body. Thyroid receptors exist on every cell of the body; thus, thyroid hormones affect the functions of every bodily system, including the brain, liver, gallbladder, cardiovascular system, intestines, and metabolism. Low thyroid function, such as I have, can result in depression (and/or anxiety), infertility (I was also diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, which inhibits many women from becoming pregnant), temperature dysregulation (I cannot bear heat or cold), irregular hormone production (remember all of those missed periods?), and many other negative symptoms.

The worst part? This is what is known as a "hidden" disease, meaning that it is not evident to the world you are sick. Anyone who takes one look at my thin frame assumes I am healthy and cannot see the attack waging inside of me. Therefore, nobody understands. I was isolated and alone.

Now What? Learning to Help Myself

Once given the diagnosis, I at first just followed the doctor's orders. Then something inside of me felt that there must be more I could do. So I started researching and learning more about my hidden disease and more natural ways to mitigate the attack on my thyroid.

Thus far, it has been over five years in my journey towards thyroid health. And I am still not there. I have much to share on what this journey has looked like thus far and what I have learned, but that will come in other posts.

In short, I am not back to full health yet. I feel better than I have in a long time, but my thyroid markers are presently outside of the acceptable range and I am boycotting synthetic hormone until a day comes that I determine it is an absolutely necessity. (NOTE: this is not a recommended route for all people; I am working under the care of a holistic chiropractor and my nutritional knowledge and using my body as an experiment in this endeavor.)

However, my other bodily systems are finally beginning to align. This year, I have had three periods over the course of three months - for the first time in my life! My digestion has improved with less bloating and gas than I have ever experienced, and my stools are looking amazing. (Yes, bowel movements are very important in gauging your health!) I only have serious anxiety attacks when driving on the interstate (it is a thing) rather than in every day life. I still worry about my thyroid being eaten by my body, but I also feel confident God is guiding my path towards recovery.

The Future - Helping Others

A huge part of my journey towards better health has been committing my life to Jesus. Many situations have propelled me to where I am today, beyond what I have shared here, and in the most difficult moments, I found peace within the pain in my Lord and Savior.

I believe He has allowed me to experience my health crises in order to put a new dream in my heart, and that is to help others. And this is why Nourishing Roots: Mind, Body, Spirit Inc. now exists. Because I want to meet the tired, the questioning, the frightened where they are and be a facilitator or coach alongside them as they start to make choices that can open them to healing as well.

I believe it is only through the integration of our mind, body, spirit, and faith in YHWH that we can fully find healing, as only God can grant us ultimate restoration. However, whether you are a believer or not, we can all change things about our lifestyle and habits that will help us find wellness. And it would be my privilege to sojourn with you on your travels down this road.